BEING HUMAN

PRESS PAUSE

Beginning with …. The Pause

Mind in action, racing, angular, sharp, invasive … “STOP!”  I shout wanting relief

Pushing it all away … needing what I call “peace of mind”. A yearning;  a longing.

Failing miserably as it drags me into another brief chapter – exhausted.

“STOP!”

What if? 

What if … I “do” nothing?  Don’t push, hide, ignore, shout and scream, stoke it’s embers giving it the oxygen to burn even brighter.

What if … I press the “PAUSE” button just for a second … the briefest of moments …. WHAT IF?

But HOW do I DO that? 

SHIFT?

Then in all the mystery, the wondering, the questioning, my mind stops.  

JUST STOPS.  I felt myself blink in surprise!  A momentary awareness … subtle … brief

A PAUSE?

An EVIDENCE SEARCH?

So how do I know this “auto” PAUSE happened??   I call it ‘auto’ because I did nothing, or so it seems.

In the briefest of pauses, in the stopping of my thoughts, my awareness 

I noticed I had lost my “train of thought”.   I had to really think where my thoughts were up to!  

This became a game. Allow the auto stop then chase the thoughts!  

But I couldn’t … I could not remember what the chaotic ‘thought drag’ was up to …  

The harder I tried, the less I remembered but it no longer mattered.

But then ‘trying’ also stopped.

PAUSE …

Looking around, standing;  where was I now?  

MY thoughts stopped … PAUSE …

MOMENT …. by MOMENT… by MOMENT …  

In a space I knew intimately.  A space I felt as ME. 

Felt in the full body sense as stillness … peace … yet fully alert? 

Alert? ..   NO!  AWARE

AWARE OF a quality of that still space of ME

AWARE OF a sense of familiarity and knowing

AWARE OF .. and a LISTENING TO  .. seemingly an inner mind stream of innate wisdom

“Not the way I speak” , “Not the way I think” , “Words I don’t use?”  were the judgements, my mind’s judgements of those words that seemed to carry intent and truth …. 

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